Today, we will delve into a sensitive topic that many of you can relate to – a toxic daughter-in-law. I know this isn’t a cheerful topic, but sometimes we face complex challenges head-on. And trust me, managing a toxic relationship with a daughter-in-law can be one of the toughest challenges. So, if you’re currently in a situation where you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around your daughter-in-law, or you’re just curious about the topic, grab a cup of tea, sit back, and let’s explore the signs of a toxic daughter-in-law.
Signs of a Toxic Daughter in Law
Here are the 10 signs of a toxic daughter-in-law:
1. She is controlling
Is your daughter-in-law keeps track of where you go? Perhaps she enjoys causing you trouble to feel superior to you. A toxic daughter-in-law may wish to humiliate you in front of her relatives. Putting up with such rudeness is not an option.
How to handle it: As she is new to the family and hopes to fit in quickly, she may experiment with presenting herself best. How does it feel to be dominated by her? If she doesn’t get you, you should tell her “no” when she suggests activities you don’t enjoy. How she reacts to your actions doesn’t matter; you must remain firm. It is a good idea to set some limits if she tries to limit your spending.
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2. She is selfish
A toxic daughter-in-law is self-centered and does not care about anyone else in the household but herself. And she continues to put you last on her list of concerns. She wants you to listen to her, and she doesn’t care about your happiness or what you like. She changes her tune and acts friendly when she needs something from you. Later, she reverts to her usual negative mood.
How to handle it: tell your toxic daughter-in-law that her personality is causing tension in the household, or try to adjust her behavior. Keeping your distance is best if you have an honest conversation with her and she remains the same.
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3. She’s unreliable
Being unable to predict the future is a good thing. It might be challenging to maintain your sanity if your toxic daughter-in-law always has mood swings. She may treat you nicely one day but then turn on you the next. In this way, it’s possible that you won’t recognize her true motives.
How to handle it: Instead of hiding your feelings and acting timid around her, try conversing with your son about the problem. If we give her more time, she will improve.
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4. She is a vengeful woman
Your daughter-in-law is ready to spite you if she gives you the silent treatment, points the finger, and even threatens you. She might even say something to hurt you intentionally.
How to handle it: The best thing to do is talk to her and find out if anything is wrong. You can find common ground and end the conflict if she’s willing to speak. But you shouldn’t try to influence her if she is stubborn, or she might take it the wrong way.
5. She is dominating
She may be trying to win your heart by copying you. The toxic daughter-in-law may pitch in with the housework, start following your religious tenets, and even pick up some tips on how to run a household efficiently. But once she has won your heart, she may use her charm to get what she wants. A toxic trait often overlooked is overly nice or soft behavior.
How to handle it: Look for clues about her true nature. Respond kindly when she is nice but assertively when she tries to dominate you. You might learn to take things with a pinch of salt to avoid unnecessary disappointment.
6 She involves her husband in petty arguments
Your toxic daughter-in-law may try to bring her husband (your son) between you if you continue to resist her manipulations, argue your points, and remain calm under fire. It’s unacceptable that she might try to keep you and your son apart by manipulating your husband and playing the victim card to get his attention.
How to handle it: you should allow her to play the tactics and remain level-headed. There’s no way her evil plans will be carried out, and your son will find out about her eventually.
7. She blames you and tries to humiliate you
She may accuse you of being a bad parent, say you don’t respect her family, or even say you’re spoiling her kids. Her tactics all reflect her intention to bring you down.
How to handle it: Ignore what your toxic daughter-in-law says. Since you already know who and what you are, just be that. Your loved ones are familiar with you, and there is no way they will fall for her lies.
8. She’s a Gamer
She may attempt to influence your son through his emotions if she cannot influence you. She could threaten him or even cry to get him on her side. She may even tell her husband that you love your other children more if she loves you. Your toxic daughter-in-law may use games to get between you and your son.
How to handle it: If you’ve tried communicating with her and realized her insensitive motives, you should give her space. If you’re already keeping your distance, it’s best to go further so she can’t cause emotional harm to you or your son.
9. She is disrespectful
Does she make fun of you when people are around? She doesn’t care about anything, even though you’re a good mother-in-law. She shows her hatred for you by reacting angrily, disagreeing, and even being rude.
10 She talks behind your back
Close friends and family have probably told you your daughter-in-law gossips about you when you’re not around. If she talked about you behind your back after you’ve been so nice to her and helped her feel at home in your family, it shows that she doesn’t respect you.
How to handle it: If you’re struggling to deal with this situation, don’t just justify your treatment of her to your loved ones. Don’t argue with anyone. Please leave it to her; nothing you can say or do will stop her from talking behind your back. If your daughter-in-law constantly bad-mouths you, you may decide to address the issue with her. Send her a message telling her you’ve noticed her bad behavior and don’t like it.
A relationship with your daughter-in-law can be complicated. But if your daughter-in-law constantly ignores or dismisses you, nothing you do on your part will change that. The signs of a toxic daughter-in-law and how to deal with them have been discussed in this blog. Please make use of them as you see fit and benefit from them.